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Here are some mini mental health tips – I hope you find them helpful.

When was the last time you did something just for yourself?
It can be really hard to prioritise ourselves, especially when we’re busy or if we have people-pleasing tendencies. It’s so important to learn what we like outside of other people’s influences, and treat ourselves as a priority or at least as equal as others.
Try starting small – maybe buy yourself a small treat, or spend half an hour reading a book or listening to a podcast. By implementing small self-care steps, we can improve our self-esteem and confidence by teaching ourselves that we matter.

Are you feeling overwhelmed and like you’re juggling too many balls?
Try working out which of those balls are rubber and will therefore be ok if you drop them, or glass which means they have to be done. I realise that rubber balls can eventually turn into glass balls!
This can be a good way to prioritise and give yourself some mental and emotional space.

I was watching Tom Daley knitting at the Olympics and reflecting on how many of us have hobbies and interests but feel they’re not important or are “silly”.
Tom started knitting to help him “unwind and be more mindful”. Hobbies can be great for this, as well as giving us a sense of purpose and enjoyment. It can be easy to prioritise activities that we feel are more productive and that we feel we “should” be doing, but there are so many benefits to doing what we enjoy. It also counts as a type of rest, which can help us avoid burnout.
How can you bring more of your hobbies and interests into your everyday life?

You’ve probably heard of the inner critic, but have you heard of the inner cheerleader or inner nurturer? It’s really common to believe what the inner critic tells us, but the inner cheerleader/nurturer can give us a more compassionate, positive view of ourselves. It can be helpful to try to visualise them – what do they look like and sound like?
Why not start trying to recognise where unkind, critical thoughts are coming from your inner critic and ask yourself what your inner cheerleader or nurturer would say to you?

These tips are all from my (mostly) fortnightly newsletter which also contains recommendations and bonus cuteness! Subscribers get a free Grounding Techniques resource and an exclusive discount in my Payhip shop. You can sign up to my mailing list here.

Spooky season is almost upon us, so I created an Activity Planner and Gratitude Journal to celebrate!

Planning fun events can help with stress and low mood by giving you a sense of purpose, bringing you into the present moment and prioritising self-care.

The Spooky Halloween Activity Planner includes:

• Space to reflect on past Halloween memories
• An activity checklist with 26 spooky ideas and room for your own
• Costume & party planning section
• Calendar to book in your creepy events
• Prompts to review this year’s spooky season to make next year’s even better!

Gratitude Journalling can help you feel happier and less stressed as you train yourself to look for positive things about your life – this journal will guide you in this throughout October.

The Spooky Halloween Gratitude Journal includes:

• Prompts to reflect on how you’re feeling at the start of the month
• Daily prompts throughout October – some of these are Halloween themed, some are useful for any time of year
• Space to reflect on 3 things that you’re thankful for each day
• End-of-month reflection prompts

There’s also a bundle to save money!

Find my shop here: https://payhip.com/BlackCatCounselling

Mailing list subscribers get 10% off, sign up here: https://subscribepage.io/h2SPEg

Exciting news – my e-book is now available to buy!

It’s an introductory guide for counsellors & therapists about working with adults with eczema. It covers topics such as mental health, neurodivergence, sleep, self-esteem and relationships and also has fillable reflection question sections.

You can buy it here. Therapist newsletter subscribers can get 10% off for the rest of August, sign-up here.

The festive season can be a time of joy and excitement, connecting with friends and family and enjoying parties, presents and good food. However, for a lot of people it can be a difficult time with a lot of pressure, bringing up emotions such as anxiety, stress, grief and loneliness.

Navigating Family Dynamics

The holidays can be challenging if you’re spending time with family as they can intensify unresolved conflicts and strained relationships. If you’re dealing with a stressful family situation, you’re not alone. 

Tips to help manage this:

• Practice self-compassion – concentrate on being kind to yourself and accepting you may need to set boundaries – what are you comfortable with and what might you need to say no to?
• Communicate effectively – try finding a quiet place to have a constructive conversation with family members if needed. It’s ok not to do this if you don’t feel safe or if these conversations would be better at a calmer time of year.
• Prioritise your mental health – take breaks if you’re feeling overwhelmed.

Managing Stress and Anxiety

The festive season can add to financial pressures and increase anxiety with added social expectations. It’s important to take time to look after yourself amongst the chaos. 

Ideas that may help:

• Make time to include activities that you find fulfilling and relaxing, such as spending time in nature, listening to music or watching your favourite film.
• Prioritise sleep – try creating a wind-down routine including calming music, a comforting book or podcast.
• Use grounding techniques if you’re feeling overwhelmed, here’s one to try. 
• Include some physical exercise to let the stress out – try dancing around to some upbeat music.

Coping with loneliness

Many people have to spend the holidays on their own. It can be especially hard if you’re estranged from your family or have lost loved ones. 

Some options to try:

• Connect with friends – could you try a Zoom meetup if you can’t see them in person?
• Volunteer – this can help you find a sense of purpose and feel more connected.
• Join a social group – try looking for organisations that fit with your interests.
• Look for local organisations which may have events and meals for people that are on their own on the holidays.

Remember that the festive season doesn’t have to be perfect, and it’s normal to find it challenging in some way. It’s OK to just treat Christmas like another day, or choose to do something completely different from the usual expected traditions.

This time of year can bring up especially intense emotions. If you’re struggling to cope, the Samaritans (call 116 123) are open all day, all year.

If you want a supportive space in the New Year to work through whatever has come up for you this holiday season, please feel free to get in touch with me to discuss counselling.

(Photo by Annie Spratt on Unsplash)

I am really pleased to share that I have been awarded Accredited Professional Registrant membership by my membership body, the National Counselling and Psychotherapy Society. I have been with them as an Accredited member since I qualified, this is the next membership level up.

I had to submit a portfolio including all the training I had done this year (I do at least 30 hours a year, usually more), proof of my core training and client work, a supervisor report and professional reference, and several essays showing how I work, how I use supervision, my ethical awareness and how I work with difference and diversity. It was a huge amount of work and I’m really proud of myself!

Email counselling is flexible and accessible – maybe you don’t have enough privacy for video or phone calls, you might feel too anxious to speak, or maybe you have small children and find it hard to fit in regular sessions. It’s also great for having a record of your sessions that you can look back on. I have a blog post here with more reasons why it may be a good choice for you.

Here are some common questions about how email counselling works – get in touch here if you want to ask anything else.

What do I write about?

In your first email, I would suggest writing about the main issues you want to explore in our work together and any previous experiences you’ve had with counselling. In emails after the first session, you can respond to what was in my previous reply but you don’t have to – it’s your space to write about whatever you want to.

How much should I write?

The word limit for your email is 500 words, my reply will also be a maximum of 500 words.

How many emails do you send?

You would send one email a week and I would send a reply. We would agree on a day and time by which you would send me your email, and I would reply 2 working days later. This allows me time to fully consider what you have written and write my response.

Is it secure?

I use Proton Mail which is secure and encrypted. You would need to create a free Proton Mail account for email counselling which is easy to set up, I can send instructions if you need them.

How much does it cost?

Email counselling sessions cost the same as video and phone sessions (see here for my latest fees). I spend the same amount of time replying to your email as I would in any other type of session, and I have had specialist training to ensure I’m working safely and effectively in this way.

Do I have to meet you first?

No, you don’t. I’m happy to answer any questions you might have before booking in for a session, you can contact me here.

Can I mix and match types of sessions?

Yes you can. You can choose what type of session (email, video or phone) you want at any time. 

Interested in trying email counselling with me? Get in touch here.

(Photo by Thought Catalog on Unsplash)

Current world events can feel really scary. You may be focusing on worst-case scenarios, feeling like you need to know everything about what’s happening and noticing an increase in physical anxiety symptoms. Here are some ideas to try that can help you feel calmer and more in control.

1. Set a limit on what news you’re consuming

– Stick to reputable sources that are giving facts, not opinions on what could happen

– Try only checking a couple of times a day for a few minutes

– Notice if you’re getting sucked into doomscrolling and do something relaxing instead

– It’s OK if you need to avoid the news altogether, it doesn’t make you selfish

2. Take action

– Doing something to help other people can lower anxiety by giving a sense of purpose

– Some ideas are volunteering, signing petitions, donating and raising awareness through craftivism. These could be related to what’s currently happening or another cause that you care about.

– Remember to take care of yourself and that you can’t do everything.

3. Talk about your feelings

– It’s normal to feel anxious about what’s happening, lots of people are feeling the same.

– Opening up and sharing your feelings can help you feel less alone and bring anxiety levels down.

– If there’s no-one you can immediately talk to, try writing your thoughts down to get them out of your head

4. Do something else

– Try activities that have nothing to do with what’s in the news – read, watch a familiar film, go for a walk, listen to music, draw, bake a cake, whatever you find comforting

– If you’re feeling panicky, try some grounding techniques (I have an example here)

I hope you find some of this helpful. My thoughts are with you if you’re directly affected by what’s happening.

Grounding techniques can be used to bring you back to the present moment, and can be really helpful for anxiety, panic attacks and PTSD to calm down your body’s fight/flight response.

My favourite grounding technique is known as the 5-4-3-2-1 technique which uses your senses to bring you back into the present. It’s easy to remember by counting on your fingers. It doesn’t matter which order you do the steps in, so don’t worry if you end up doing the senses in a different order to this. I’ve also given some ideas for adapting the exercise.

Five things you can see

These can be anything – a bird, a carrier bag, a paving stone. Try to really notice what they look like and describe them to yourself.

Four things you can hear:

What can you hear at this moment? Maybe you can hear a bird, a car driving past, music playing nearby. Are they loud or quiet, high or low pitched? Try not to make any judgements about the noises, just notice them.

Three things you can touch:

These could be your clothes, the chair you’re sitting on, your arm, a TV remote – anything near you. Try to really notice the textures.

Two things you can smell:

If there’s nothing you can smell in your immediate surroundings, do you have any food or toiletries nearby that you enjoy and can use for this step? If there’s nothing available, try naming two smells that you like.

One thing you can taste:

This can be tricky in the moment as you might have an unpleasant taste in your mouth when you’re feeling panicky. Do you have any mints or sweets nearby that you can suck? If there’s nothing suitable around, try naming one thing you like the taste of. You could also replace this step by thinking of one thing that you like about yourself.

It’s a good idea to practice this grounding technique when you’re feeling OK, so you’re used to doing it when you really need it. You could also adapt it to use the finger counting but not the senses – how about five places starting with the letter S, four of your favourite films, three types of birds and so on?