I wave my Yay flag whenever I do anything that I want to congratulate myself for, no matter how small. This really helps with motivation and self-esteem. This project was inspired by a tutorial by Shannon Downey from Badass Cross Stitch: https://www.patreon.com/posts/felt-yay-flag-113010754.
Do you take the time to congratulate yourself when you’ve done something hard? This might be something like writing an essay, and on hard days it might be getting out of bed. It’s really common for people to compare themselves unfavourably to others, or to what they used to be able to do, and not celebrate their current achievements. Why not create your own Yay flag?
Here are some mini mental health tips – I hope you find them helpful.
When was the last time you did something just for yourself? It can be really hard to prioritise ourselves, especially when we’re busy or if we have people-pleasing tendencies. It’s so important to learn what we like outside of other people’s influences, and treat ourselves as a priority or at least as equal as others. Try starting small – maybe buy yourself a small treat, or spend half an hour reading a book or listening to a podcast. By implementing small self-care steps, we can improve our self-esteem and confidence by teaching ourselves that we matter.
Are you feeling overwhelmed and like you’re juggling too many balls? Try working out which of those balls are rubber and will therefore be ok if you drop them, or glass which means they have to be done. I realise that rubber balls can eventually turn into glass balls! This can be a good way to prioritise and give yourself some mental and emotional space.
I was watching Tom Daley knitting at the Olympics and reflecting on how many of us have hobbies and interests but feel they’re not important or are “silly”. Tom started knitting to help him “unwind and be more mindful”. Hobbies can be great for this, as well as giving us a sense of purpose and enjoyment. It can be easy to prioritise activities that we feel are more productive and that we feel we “should” be doing, but there are so many benefits to doing what we enjoy. It also counts as a type of rest, which can help us avoid burnout. How can you bring more of your hobbies and interests into your everyday life?
You’ve probably heard of the inner critic, but have you heard of the inner cheerleader or inner nurturer? It’s really common to believe what the inner critic tells us, but the inner cheerleader/nurturer can give us a more compassionate, positive view of ourselves. It can be helpful to try to visualise them – what do they look like and sound like? Why not start trying to recognise where unkind, critical thoughts are coming from your inner critic and ask yourself what your inner cheerleader or nurturer would say to you?
These tips are all from my (mostly) fortnightly newsletter which also contains recommendations and bonus cuteness! Subscribers get a free Grounding Techniques resource and an exclusive discount in my Payhip shop. You can sign up to my mailing list here.
Spooky season is almost upon us, so I created an Activity Planner and Gratitude Journal to celebrate!
Planning fun events can help with stress and low mood by giving you a sense of purpose, bringing you into the present moment and prioritising self-care.
The Spooky Halloween Activity Planner includes:
Space to reflect on past Halloween memories
An activity checklist with 26 spooky ideas and room for your own
Costume & party planning section
Calendar to book in your creepy events
Prompts to review this year’s spooky season to make next year’s even better!
Gratitude Journalling can help you feel happier and less stressed as you train yourself to look for positive things about your life – this journal will guide you in this throughout October.
The Spooky Halloween Gratitude Journal includes:
Prompts to reflect on how you’re feeling at the start of the month
Daily prompts throughout October – some of these are Halloween themed, some are useful for any time of year
Space to reflect on 3 things that you’re thankful for each day
Exciting news – my e-book is now available to buy!
It’s an introductory guide for counsellors & therapists about working with adults with eczema. It covers topics such as mental health, neurodivergence, sleep, self-esteem and relationships and also has fillable reflection question sections.
You can buy it here. Therapist newsletter subscribers can get 10% off for the rest of August, sign-up here.
Have you ever been asked about your mental health when looking for medical support about your eczema? I know I haven’t. Mental health wasn’t really recognised as a big issue when I was a child, I hope that children now have more support. I’ve seen GPs so many times over the decades who have treated my physical symptoms but never been asked how I’m feeling.
The shocking statistics
There’s a huge connection between eczema and mental health. Studies have shown that adults with eczema have a significantly higher chance of having various mental health issues, especially OCD (50% higher) and anxiety and depression (14% higher). We are also more likely to have bipolar disorder and are at higher risk of suicide, depending on the severity of our eczema.
How does eczema affect our mental health?
It can make us feel isolated and embarrassed, wanting to hide our skin beneath layers of clothes or stay at home when we have flares.
It can greatly affect our self-esteem, which can stop us from dating, looking for new jobs and making friends.
The physical side of eczema often limits our day-to-day activities, including those that can help mental health such as exercise.
It can be hard to concentrate at school/college/university and work while our skin is itching or causing us pain.
We may feel frustrated at the long waiting lists to get support and the side- effects of medication, especially if we are older and weren’t told about the effects of decades of steroid use.
Other people can be cruel, adding to our own negative feelings about our skin and building on all-too-frequent childhood bullying, which often has effects on self-esteem into adulthood.
ADHD, autism and eczema
There are also strong links between eczema, autism and ADHD. This combination of conditions often adds extra problems, including sensory issues with creams, ointments and moisturisers and impulsivity making it harder not to scratch.
What can we do to help ourselves?
I really wish I had a magic wand to fix this, but sadly that doesn’t exist. However, stress is one of the biggest eczema triggers. If we can lower our stress levels, we may get less flare-ups and improve our wellbeing.
Spend some time outside, ideally in nature – try and get some daylight every day if you can.
Plan relaxing activities into your day such as yoga, meditation or crafting.
Look at your basic physical needs – are you drinking enough water, eating a balanced diet and getting enough sleep? I know these can be really hard when you’re struggling, especially if you’re neurodivergent, so be kind to yourself and try making tiny changes.
Try grounding techniques to lessen distressing feelings, I have a free resource on this when you sign up to my newsletter.
Talk to people about what you’re going through – a trusted friend or family member, an online or in-person eczema group or a mental health professional.
I hope this has been helpful for you. Get in touch if you’re interested in getting support from me about your eczema.
Are you a counsellor or therapist who is interested in knowing more about working with eczema? I have an introductory guide e-book available here! You can get 10% discount in August by signing up to my therapist mailing list, which will also have updates on my upcoming course about working with eczema.
Have you heard about email counselling before? It may seem an unusual way of having therapy but it can be a great option – here are 9 reasons why:
1. You can choose when to write
The flexibility of email counselling can really help when you have a busy or unpredictable schedule. Maybe you work shifts and can’t fit in regular times for counselling sessions, or you have small children and don’t have much spare time. If you work with me, we would agree on a date and time for you to send your email, but you can write it whenever you want. I also send reminders so you don’t have to worry about forgetting to send your email in time.
2. You don’t need to worry about being overheard during sessions
I understand that it can sometimes be hard to find a private space where you won’t be overheard for video or phone sessions, especially if you have children or housemates. Email counselling allows for more privacy and I use an encrypted, confidential email system for sessions.
3. You feel too embarrassed to talk about some topics
Email counselling can allow you to feel more comfortable talking about topics such as sex.
4. You find it hard to think and process during online and phone sessions
It can sometimes be hard to respond in the moment during counselling sessions and to get our thoughts across in the way we want. Working by email allows you to take your time and really think about what you want to say – you can write when you’re ready.
5. You feel too embarrassed or shy to speak to a counsellor
Maybe you’re struggling with anxiety and don’t feel able to open up in “live” sessions, or you feel self-conscious about how you look or sound. This could be the case if you are trans or questioning your gender identity, or if you are having eczema flare-ups. Email counselling allows you to get support without worrying about your appearance.
6. You have chronic illnesses or struggle with energy
I understand that chronic illness can be unpredictable, and you may not have the spoons to have video or phone sessions. With email counselling, you can write your email in sections when you have the energy, building it up over the week. Some people like to write notes during the week and write the email just before it’s due – whatever works for you is OK.
7. You find online or phone sessions tricky due to communication challenges
Email counselling can be really helpful if you are Deaf or non-speaking.
8. You have problems with tech for online counselling
Maybe you have slow or inconsistent broadband or struggle to get set up for video sessions. I can talk you through setting up a secure email account to use for email sessions.
9. You want to have a record of counselling sessions
It can often be difficult to remember everything that has happened during a counselling session. With email counselling, you’ll be able to read back over our sessions whenever you want.
I have completed additional specialist training so that I can offer this type of counselling in a safe, effective way. Clients I work with can “mix and match” types of sessions, so they can choose if they want sessions by video, phone or email depending on their current situation and what they want to talk about. Email counselling is very different to traditional counselling, but I can guide you through getting set up and working out what to write.
The festive season can be a time of joy and excitement, connecting with friends and family and enjoying parties, presents and good food. However, for a lot of people it can be a difficult time with a lot of pressure, bringing up emotions such as anxiety, stress, grief and loneliness.
Navigating Family Dynamics
The holidays can be challenging if you’re spending time with family as they can intensify unresolved conflicts and strained relationships. If you’re dealing with a stressful family situation, you’re not alone.
Tips to help manage this:
Practice self-compassion – concentrate on being kind to yourself and accepting you may need to set boundaries – what are you comfortable with and what might you need to say no to?
Communicate effectively – try finding a quiet place to have a constructive conversation with family members if needed. It’s ok not to do this if you don’t feel safe or if these conversations would be better at a calmer time of year.
Prioritise your mental health – take breaks if you’re feeling overwhelmed.
Managing Stress and Anxiety
The festive season can add to financial pressures and increase anxiety with added social expectations. It’s important to take time to look after yourself amongst the chaos.
Ideas that may help:
Make time to include activities that you find fulfilling and relaxing, such as spending time in nature, listening to music or watching your favourite film.
Prioritise sleep – try creating a wind-down routine including calming music, a comforting book or podcast.
Use grounding techniques if you’re feeling overwhelmed, here’s one to try.
Include some physical exercise to let the stress out – try dancing around to some upbeat music.
Coping with loneliness
Many people have to spend the holidays on their own. It can be especially hard if you’re estranged from your family or have lost loved ones.
Some options to try:
Connect with friends – could you try a Zoom meetup if you can’t see them in person?
Volunteer – this can help you find a sense of purpose and feel more connected.
Join a social group – try looking for organisations that fit with your interests.
Look for local organisations which may have events and meals for people that are on their own on the holidays.
Remember that the festive season doesn’t have to be perfect, and it’s normal to find it challenging in some way. It’s OK to just treat Christmas like another day, or choose to do something completely different from the usual expected traditions.
This time of year can bring up especially intense emotions. If you’re struggling to cope, the Samaritans (call 116 123) are open all day, all year.
If you want a supportive space in the New Year to work through whatever has come up for you this holiday season, please feel free to get in touch with me to discuss counselling.
I am really pleased to share that I have been awarded Accredited Professional Registrant membership by my membership body, the National Counselling and Psychotherapy Society. I have been with them as an Accredited member since I qualified, this is the next membership level up.
I had to submit a portfolio including all the training I had done this year (I do at least 30 hours a year, usually more), proof of my core training and client work, a supervisor report and professional reference, and several essays showing how I work, how I use supervision, my ethical awareness and how I work with difference and diversity. It was a huge amount of work and I’m really proud of myself!
Email counselling is flexible and accessible – maybe you don’t have enough privacy for video or phone calls, you might feel too anxious to speak, or maybe you have small children and find it hard to fit in regular sessions. It’s also great for having a record of your sessions that you can look back on. I have a blog post here with more reasons why it may be a good choice for you.
Here are some common questions about how email counselling works – get in touch here if you want to ask anything else.
What do I write about?
In your first email, I would suggest writing about the main issues you want to explore in our work together and any previous experiences you’ve had with counselling. In emails after the first session, you can respond to what was in my previous reply but you don’t have to – it’s your space to write about whatever you want to.
How much should I write?
The word limit for your email is 500 words, my reply will also be a maximum of 500 words.
How many emails do you send?
You would send one email a week and I would send a reply. We would agree on a day and time by which you would send me your email, and I would reply 2 working days later. This allows me time to fully consider what you have written and write my response.
Is it secure?
I use Proton Mail which is secure and encrypted. You would need to create a free Proton Mail account for email counselling which is easy to set up, I can send instructions if you need them.
How much does it cost?
Email counselling sessions cost the same as video and phone sessions (see here for my latest fees). I spend the same amount of time replying to your email as I would in any other type of session, and I have had specialist training to ensure I’m working safely and effectively in this way.
Do I have to meet you first?
No, you don’t. I’m happy to answer any questions you might have before booking in for a session, you can contact me here.
Can I mix and match types of sessions?
Yes you can. You can choose what type of session (email, video or phone) you want at any time.
Interested in trying email counselling with me? Get in touch here.
Current world events can feel really scary. You may be focusing on worst-case scenarios, feeling like you need to know everything about what’s happening and noticing an increase in physical anxiety symptoms. Here are some ideas to try that can help you feel calmer and more in control.
1. Set a limit on what news you’re consuming
– Stick to reputable sources that are giving facts, not opinions on what could happen
– Try only checking a couple of times a day for a few minutes
– Notice if you’re getting sucked into doomscrolling and do something relaxing instead
– It’s OK if you need to avoid the news altogether, it doesn’t make you selfish
2. Take action
– Doing something to help other people can lower anxiety by giving a sense of purpose
– Some ideas are volunteering, signing petitions, donating and raising awareness through craftivism. These could be related to what’s currently happening or another cause that you care about.
– Remember to take care of yourself and that you can’t do everything.
3. Talk about your feelings
– It’s normal to feel anxious about what’s happening, lots of people are feeling the same.
– Opening up and sharing your feelings can help you feel less alone and bring anxiety levels down.
– If there’s no-one you can immediately talk to, try writing your thoughts down to get them out of your head
4. Do something else
– Try activities that have nothing to do with what’s in the news – read, watch a familiar film, go for a walk, listen to music, draw, bake a cake, whatever you find comforting
– If you’re feeling panicky, try some grounding techniques (I have an example here)
I hope you find some of this helpful. My thoughts are with you if you’re directly affected by what’s happening.